What does financial abuse in a marriage look like?

Marriage is supposed to be about love, trust and mutual support – but some marriages gradually become toxic. 

While people commonly associate the term “abuse” with physical violence, financial abuse can be just as destructive to the marital relationship.

How do you know if you’re in a financially abusive relationship?

Financial abuse is all about control – just like other kinds of abuse. In general, financial abuse is a way of stripping a spouse of their autonomy and sense of personal freedom. Here are some of the signs:

1. Your spouse tightly controls all the finances. If your spouse restricts your access to the bank account, won’t let you even see the credit card balances and gives you an “allowance” that you need to account for down to the penny, that can make you feel helpless.
2. Your spouse monitors and criticizes all your spending. Thanks to modern electronics, your spouse could know about the most recent credit card purchase before you’ve even left the store. If they call and demand that you justify every purchase you make, that’s another way of making you feel unsettled and unsafe.
3. There are debts in your name that you don’t recognize. Your spouse has access to your most private personal identifying information – and they could misuse it. If you start finding credit card bills with your name on it but you don’t have the card, that’s a clue that your spouse is covertly abusing you (and your credit).
4. You believe your spouse is keeping money from you. If your spouse is cagey about the household finances or where all your money is going, they may be gradually moving it out of your reach in preparation for a divorce.

If you’re tired of being victimized by your spouse and their abusive tactics and you want a divorce, seeking more information about the next steps can help you plan your exit.